Confessions
by Spookykat
Summary: Kurt has something to tell Blaine, and Blaine is making it very very difficult.  Spoilers through "Original Song" apply.  One-shot.  Fluff abounds.


"_My heart did a whiz-bang flip-flop_

_Heaven for a minute."_

The Sunday after Regionals found Kurt and Blaine in the Hudson-Hummel house. Kurt made the announcement on Friday that he was going back to McKinley, but he couldn't quite bring himself to tell Blaine, and the more he put it off, the harder it got.

For one thing, that line from _Thoroughly Modern Millie _would not get out of his head, and he was humming the melody softly over and over as Blaine nestled himself in the crook of his shoulder. He always thought it was old-fashioned, corny and stupid, but he found that line going through his head more often than not since Blaine kissed him.

It felt so _organic _now.

Even though it had only been a couple of days since they first kissed, it was like they'd been like this since the beginning, and Kurt felt like _finally _the world was paying him back for everything he'd been through. Still, though, that little voice inside his head had been nagging at him, telling him he wasn't good enough, that he didn't deserve this, that he didn't deserve _Blaine_ and he was still trying to comprehend the fact that for once in his life, he finally understood what all those songs and musicals are talking about.

Things had been going SO well.

A little _too _well actually.

This wasn't his life. It was someone else's. Any minute now, he'd wake up and find out none of it was real. But he could feel Blaine's breath hot on his skin. He could feel the curls of Blaine's hair through his fingers.

So of COURSE there had to be something to bring him back down to earth, and it was making what he had to say really REALLY hard.

Dad didn't tell him that they had to take out a second mortgage on the house they just bought to pay for his tuition and they were barely making the first mortgage payments as it was thanks to his medical bills. He wouldn't even have known if he hadn't gotten the mail on Friday, and found a couple of past due notices in the mail.

Even if money wasn't an issue, though, he knew that Dalton wasn't the place for him. When he saw New Directions perform at Regionals, he knew he belonged on stage with them. Karofsky was a problem, but at dinner last Friday when he brought up the possibility of going back, Finn had promised he, Puck and the rest of the guys would make sure Karofsky and the rest of those idiots who made life hell for him wouldn't be a problem.

So it was settled.

It was Sunday now, and on Monday morning, he'd be pulling out of Dalton and getting his things. This time tomorrow, he'd be enrolled back at McKinley. In less than twelve hours from now, he'd sit in Figgins' office, re-enroll in the classes that bored him to tears. But if he got to walk down the halls arm-in-arm with Mercedes again, even if that meant to going back to being slushied and dumpster-tossed, it was worth it. He knew he was accepted at Dalton, but the friends he found in New Direction were family, and he missed them all terribly.

And Blaine currently wasn't making this easy with the way he was looking at him.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, straightening up and running his thumb over Blaine's knuckles. He couldn't bring it up just yet. He felt like he was going to break the spell if he did, and he didn't want to. At least not yet. So instead, he settled on asking a question that had been nagging at him since Blaine kissed him. "You've heard me sing lots of times. Why _Blackbird_?"

Ok, so he was prolonging the inevitable. But how many relationships had their first bump IN THE FIRST WEEK? He didn't think anyone would blame him for wanting to stall. Besides, he didn't know why Blaine suddenly decided his feelings had changed, and if they were going to be long-distance, he needed to know that they weren't going to change _back_ any time soon.

"Finn and Dad thought I was being a little over-dramatic about Pav," Kurt continued.

"Looking back on it, I suppose they're right. He wasn't my bird for very long, and he wasn't even really _my _bird, but I was so broken up about it that I wanted to give him a proper send-off, and I was such a mess, and…"

Kurt trailed off then and Blaine just smiled and cupped his face in the taller boy's hands. "I know I said it was one moment…but I don't think that's true anymore. I think it was lots of little ones. When you showed up at Dalton and smiled and clapped when we finished, it was like there was this light around you and you were so genuinely _happy_. I kind of wanted to be in charge of that happiness and give you lots of reasons to see you look that way again and again."

"Then we started to get to know each other," Blaine continued, taking both of Kurt's hands in his. "I felt like I could say anything to you. I felt like you _knew _me already."

"You're going to give me a cavity if you don't stop this little diatribe," Kurt teased, kissing Blaine chastely on the lips because they were at his house and who knew when his dad or Finn or Carole could barge in.

"Well, that's just too damn bad, because you wanted to know, and I'm not done yet."

Kurt rolled his eyes, but smiled, and laid his head on Blaine's shoulder and tugged absently at the Dalton tie. He wouldn't have a right to wear that tie this time tomorrow. Not that he'd actually MISS the uniform, but he would miss The Warblers. Especially this one.

"Then with that horrible situation you were in at your old school, you _were_ kind of a baby penguin. You were MY baby penguin, and I wanted to protect you from the big bad world and all the monsters in it, but I couldn't, so I did the only thing I could do. I gave you the worst advice ever."

"I'm your baby penguin?" Kurt said, arching an eyebrow. "Oh, be still my heart," Kurt deadpanned.

"Yes," Blaine said, kissing Kurt soundly on the lips. "You're my baby penguin. Get used to it."

"So you _weren't _flirty with me when you asked me to sing the most romantic holiday song ever? Granted, it's about date-rape, but still…it was the first time anyone ever even HINTED that I wasn't diseased sexual deviant, or a molester, or any of the other bad things people think when they see me. What the hell WAS that?"

"When I asked you that day before Christmas break to practice, I wanted to test the waters, so to speak. I chickened out. I wanted to kiss you then, but I couldn't."

"So why didn't you?"

"Honestly, I don't' know. I think part of it was I was just too scared of being rejected, or that we'd break up and I'd lose you forever. Then I decided you were going to be a strictly friend-zone guy because I thought that was what you needed at the time, I mean, I know I sent you mixed signals. But I thought I kept doing it just because I loved the way you looked at me like I was everything. Then I realized I could never BE everything to you like that and that's what I kept telling myself. Then I got to know your friends and family, and I was kind of…jealous. I could never have the kind of relationship with my father that you have with your dad. You didn't need me. You are loved. Any one of them would do pretty much anything for you. Wes and David are great, don't get me wrong, but Mercedes would give you her kidney if you needed it. Wes and David would lend me a piece of paper, but that's about it. When a boyfriend comes into the mix, things change. I didn't want to mess that up for you."

"Boyfriend?" Kurt asked.

Blaine just nodded. "Then I pretty much decided that I was going to be your friend, and tried to convince myself that it was just fine that way. I tried to move on, thought I'd found someone else. I was so, so wrong. I knew I messed up, but you didn't run away scared like most would, even after you confessed you thought it was for you. I felt bad after that and decided I'd be a better friend to you."

"So you kissed Rachel?"

Blaine shook his head. "I think part of it is that of ALL your friends, Rachel was the one most like you. Part of me thought if I couldn't have you, I could have _her_ and then it'd be okay. Then I figured things out once the beer goggles came off that I'd completely screwed things up. I'd blown it. I was just grateful I got to keep you as a friend through that whole mess."

"I wasn't exactly at MY best either."

"You were being honest, though, and I think we needed that."

Oh, this was going to be hard.

"But…that still doesn't explain…"

Blaine put a finger to his lips. "Let me finish, dummy. You sang _Blackbird_ that day, though, and you were no longer this baby penguin. You were so raw and emotional. You weren't holding anything back. You weren't pretending. You weren't auditioning. You weren't trying to be something you're not just to fit someone else's status quo. You weren't trying to be anything at all. You were being your truest self. Caring, passionate, and just so...unashamed of whatever it was you were feeling, and even though I hated seeing you so heartbroken over Pav, it just sort of solidified it for me, you know? Like all the pieces fell into place. And just so you know, that need to protect you hasn't gone away. It's just…I need to protect you because your _mine, _you know?"

"As long as you'll have me," Kurt said, unable to resist the urge to kiss him, and feeling a little giddy that now he didn't have to.

"_Now_…" Blaine said, pulling away and resting his forehead against Kurt's. "I have a question for you. Why were you so upset over Pav?"

Kurt shrugged. "I guess part of it _was_ that it reminded me of when my mom died. Mostly, though, I just never really had a pet before. I take care of my dad all the time. I'm happy to do it, but with dad, he doesn't particularly like what's on the menu most of the time and hates that I make him exercise. We get on each other's nerves more often than not, especially now that we have to be careful with what he eats."

"Pav wasn't fussy about what kind of bird seed I put in his cage. Once I stopped making him eat glitter, he was fine. He was stuck in that little brass cage, but he sang anyway, and he kept me company. He didn't shed all over my clothes or leave messes on the carpet. He was just kind of…there when I needed him. Pav was just content to sing, raise my spirits with a cheerful tune if I was ever feeling down. He was there to listen if I needed someone to talk to. The first few weeks at Dalton were so _hard_, but Pav made it a lot easier. He made me feel like I wasn't so alone." His smile broadened. "You helped in that department, too," he added quickly, finger's lacing through Blaine's hair. "I guess it's nice to know that he didn't die in vein." Kurt took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Blaine, I'm transferring back to McKinley."

"You're what?"

"I have to go back, Blaine. I don't belong at Dalton."

"You're breaking up with me?"

"What? No! What on earth made you think that?"

"You're leaving Dalton!"

"Well, there are these wonderful things called computers and cell phones…and cars…and weekends."

"What about Karofsky?"

"Finn promised he and Puck and the rest of the jocks in glee will take care of him. And if that doesn't work, I can always go with blackmail."

"You were slushied every day there, shoved into lockers. That stuff Finn sang? That was about you and you know it. You told me how alone…a-a-and judged you felt there. You want to go BACK?" Blaine stood up now, pacing back and forth. "Is it me? It's me, isn't it? We've been spending a lot of time together, I realize that, but if I'm suffocating you, I can…"

Kurt stood in front of him and put his hands on his shoulders and kissed him tenderly. Blaine returned it in kind, and they stumbled back towards the couch.

"Now who's the dummy?" Kurt whispered huskily. "You're the one thing at Dalton I'll miss the most."

"Wes and David are going to kill me," Blaine said, trailing kisses down his jaw.

"They'll live," Kurt whispered before he began to suck an earlobe.

"Yeah, well…" Blaine wrapped his hands around Kurt and pulled him closer; his hand reached up to brush his cheek and he let out a resigned sigh. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"It might not be that bad, Blaine."

"I won't get to see you every day."

"We'll just have to make the most of the time we _do _have."

"We'll always have the Lima Bean," Blaine said.

"There's prom coming up."

"We'd still do stuff on weekends."

"Dad and Carole say you have a standing invite to Friday night dinner. Well, mostly Carole. Dad's not exactly…happy for me yet."

"I think it's not that he's not happy for you. I think it's more that he's kind of mad at me," Blaine said softly.

"Why would he be mad at you?"

"Most dads would get angry at guys who convince parents to have sex talks with their son and then wind up dating them a week later," Blaine mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"I might've…made him aware of some of your…issues."

"You WHAT?"

"I had a talk with him, okay? I thought getting your dad to talk to you was the best way I could help, because a talk like that coming from me…I would've said it wrong. You might've taken it wrong. It was just…a bad idea."

Blaine was resting his arm on the opposite end of the couch now.

Kurt put his arms around Blaine's shoulders and pulled him close. "You're lucky I'm in love with you, Blaine Anderson," Kurt said, grinning.

"Yeah…I am."


End file.
